


Hiring the Vagabond

by Blue_Kat



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: FAHC, Fake AH Crew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 18:55:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11319555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Kat/pseuds/Blue_Kat
Summary: The Vagabond is a monster. A terrifying creature of the night to the denizens of Los Santos. You do not cross them, you do not engage with them. And yet...





	Hiring the Vagabond

None of the fakes are ever likely to settle down and have a family and they know that. Not like many of them are interested in that (the fear of becoming like their own parents is strong). But for some reason, despite the terrifying mask and steely eyed gaze that, rumour has it, killed a man all on its own (surprisingly one of the truer rumours, the guy was old and had a heart attack) a little girl, no more than 8, walks up to the Vagabond when he’s readying up in an alley for the start of a heist. She offers him the contents of her hand, a quarter, shiny skull bead and a pink candy wrapper.

“This is all I have, can… can I get you?”

“Get me?”

“You do stuff for… for stuff in return?”

“You want to hire me.”

The child nods furiously.

“What for kid?”

“Mama died, Greg killed her. Now he hurts me and I’m scared. Mama died because of me and-” she sniffles, rubbing at her eyes, “I’m scared!”

Ryan calls off the heist, says he has something more important to do. He takes the skull bead from the little girl and she giggles, “I thought you’d like that!” On his knees so he’s at her eye level he promises to take care of her. And take care of Greg so he can’t hurt her again.

He takes the child to a safe house. Tells her to wait there for him and don’t answer the door to anyone. She nods, perfectly at ease, like this isn’t new to her. And that breaks Ryan’s heart all over again.

He makes Greg disappear. Makes him suffer first though. Washes the blood off and looks the same as when he left before walking back into the safe house.

“Greg can’t hurt you any more.” And then the girl is launching at him, hugging him tight, tiny hands clinging to the leather of his jacket. He pats her awkwardly on the head, so unused to dealing with the absence of fear, so unused to children.

“My names Thalia, mama used to say it meant blossom… can- can you bring my mama back?”

He shakes his head at that, “there are some things even I can’t do.”

Ryan sends her off to a private boarding school. Like hell is she going into the Los Santos foster system.

Like hell.

He dresses nicely, suit and tie, hair dye long since faded after having joined the Fakes permanently. Still has a pony tail though. Thalia looks at him as if he’s a stranger, doesn’t recognise him now he’s no longer the Big Scary Vagabond.

She gets a place at the school easily enough. Ryan referring to her as “his ward”. His groomed appearance and well spoken mannerisms get Thalia a place with little questioning. And with many “yes Mr Haywoods,” and “is the school to your liking Mr James, sir?”

Money helps. Money talks.

When he leaves her there, he gets down to her eye level again, firm hand on her shoulder. “Write to me, every week if you can. If you ever need me, I will be right here okay?” She nods and hugs him. She has the number to a burner phone and a PO box she can post letters to.

He enjoys reading her letters. She signs her name with a little flower next to it.

Then the letters stop coming for a few weeks.

Then he gets a hastily scrawled note that simply says “Mrs Haversham says I’m not allowed to write to you. Says you can’t know how the school works.”

And Ryan is at the school the next morning.

All cold fury and grim expression.

He walks in to the principal’s office, a flustered secretary chasing after him.

“Who is Mrs Haversham and why is my ch- ward scared of her?”

There’s apologies all round from the staff. The principal trying to assure him it is simply because “Nora” is a little old school, just a little strict. It can be quite a shock for children coming from a more… pampered lifestyle such as Thalia’s.

That’s not good enough for Ryan, he demands to see Thalia. _Now._

She’s brought in and immediately latches onto his leg, burying her face in the fabric of his trousers, voice muffled as she sighs out “you came”.

“I promised I would, why didn’t you call?”

“Mrs Haversham tore up the piece of paper. She… she’s scary… she reminds me of Greg.”

And Ryan sees red.

Turns back to the principal, just his glare making the lady shiver, “I think you’d best bring Nora in here for a discussion, don’t you?”

She’s brought in, an old woman the epitome of battleaxe, takes one look at Ryan and the cowering Thalia and sniffs disdainfully.

“I see someone has gone crying to her father!“

“And I see someone who should not be allowed anywhere near children.”

"Their care is my utmost priority! Some children simply do not understand manners due to their upbringing having taught them none.”

“And what do you do to teach them these manners?”

”She hits us…” Thalia whispers.

“Don’t lie child!”

Ryan’s voice turns deadly as Thalia pushes further into his side, trying to hide. “If you speak to her like that again it will be the last thing you ever do.”

And Haversham goes stiff at that, Ryan still appears completely at ease, only the danger in his voice alerting those in the room to how true a threat that last sentence was. “I do not… hit them, they simply get tapped with my walking cane. Over the knuckles for a first offence, back of the legs for a second. Simple as that.”

“And what sort of offence results in punishment?”

“Greediness, slothful behaviour, pride, inattention."

“So being a child.”

“Being insolent! Insolence always requires retribution!”

“You are fired. If you do not leave the school voluntarily by tonight, I will make sure you are removed.”

“You can’t do that! You have no say in how this school runs!”

“Actually, I do. When Thalia came to this school I donated a significant sum of money to it on top of her schooling fees, they get to keep it, upon the condition that if anything negative occurs to my da- ward, I get the final say in how it is dealt with. In this case, how it will be dealt with is your termination.”

“And if I refuse to leave?! I suppose you think you have enough friends in high places that it will not matter hmm? Well you underestimate me! Trust fund babies will not move me!”

“Then it is a good job I’m no trust fund baby as you seem to think. And it’s not the friends in high places you should worry about, it’s the ones in low places that are truly terrifying.”

Haversham storms out, shouting over her shoulder that they can’t scare her off so easily. The principal apologises again, saying Ryan’s request will be granted.

“It’s Thalia you should be apologising to. Who lets a woman like that take care of children?”

He leaves then. Hugs Thalia goodbye and promises Haversham will be gone by the morning. Gives her his number again and more paper and stamps to write to him with. Praises her for remembering the address. She’s beaming at that but doesn’t want him to go.

“Nothing will change once you’re gone.”

“They will, don’t worry, the Vagabond will make sure she leaves.”

Thalia nods solemnly at that, already scarily at ease with what Ryan does. He’s glad yet again he didn’t let her stay with him. God what kind of monster would that create? Something more terrifying than the Vagabond certainly.

And at midnight, when Haversham is still ranting in her room, settling down for the night with a bottle of brandy by her chair:

The Vagabond walks in.

Well… more appears out of her closet. Always one for the dramatic entrance, he was a theatre major, sue him.

She shrieks.

And the Vagabond merely stares her down.

“Insolence requires retribution I’ve been told?”

Haversham is gone by the next morning. She left some time in the night. Hobbling out the front driveway, suitcase in tow.

Seems she learnt her lesson.

And so Thalia tells all her friends they don’t have to be afraid. That they have a protector in the Vagabond, man who adults call monster. And of course some of these children go back to their homes during the holiday, they tell their friends at home what Thalia told them.

Soon the Vagabond is getting more letters than just Thalia’s (he always reads her’s first though) asking for his help with relatives or even total strangers. One young boy merely begging for help against “the bad man who hides under my bed.” He answers as many as he can, even the one scared of someone under his bed. Especially that one. The "bad man” turning out to be an abusive father who waited until his wife was asleep to “punish” their son.

And as with many playground legends and stories, like ring-a-rosie and how to make daisy chains, every school child in Los Santos knows:

If you need help?

Write to the Vagabond.

He just might answer…

**Author's Note:**

> If you like what you've read here why not support me by clicking the link below! It's very much appreciated :)  
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